“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love,” 1 John 4:7-8, KJV.
I often hear about the drama of relationships which is indeed very real. Many endure domestic abuse, emotional turmoil, and painful infidelity. And today I just wanted to touch on those areas as it relates to the woman.
It’s often challenging and tough to listen to a woman who has been physically battered. Many question how did she get herself in such a situation or why hasn’t she left? But can we begin with what got her there in the first place? Was it just that he said that he loved her or could it have been that he “showed” her that he does? Well, love is more than someone saying the words; love is a verb, an action in its true meaning.
When someone tells you that they love you, wait until you see that played out in action. Remember, you will know him by his fruits. Anyone can utter words and make them sound believable. Again, consider what happened to Eve in the Garden of Eden. Flowers delivered to the job or a trip to an island where one has never been to do not equate to love. A man taking a woman out to dinner and a movies or even going to church with her does not mean that he loves. Love begins and ends with God because He is love.
It is never easy to detach from someone who had you from “hello.” Are we listening to what he has to say or are we focusing on the kind of body he has? This kind of relationship begins and ends with lust. It’s the kind of relationship where a woman may say, “I just can’t get him out of my head.” And this is why he can say any and everything not worrying that she would ever leave.
When a woman gives herself to a man, she is in a sense marrying him. She receives that spiritually what he has to offer. If he has baggage from a previous relationship, that’s what she’s inheriting. If he carries insecurity in him from the last female, that’s going to soon become you. Souls are connected and united creating “soul ties,” ungodly links. Many may desire marriage, but not yet single. They still carry around with them what happened in the past, preventing breakthrough for their future. How can a person get married if they’re still hung up on somebody from the yesteryears? And those who do get married ending in a quick divorce, proves the truth of God’s words.
Infidelity can only occur if this person has made a commitment. I often hear, and used to say it myself, “He’s cheating on me.” How can a man cheat on a woman he’s not married to or has not made a promise to marry? Many play house by moving in together, sharing bank accounts, and co-signing for vehicles and wonder why the guy doesn’t go through with the initial promise of marriage….and it’s years down the road. Does he have reason to? And then some may ask why does a man cheat when the woman has so much to offer? It doesn’t matter if you’re not who he wants. He’s just confused or waiting for someone better to come along. When a man can’t make up his mind, why would a woman want him anyway?
Lastly, examine the offering of an ultimatum. It is detrimental to box a man into a corner of making a decision to marry. The Bible states in Proverbs 18:22, KJV, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” The responsibility is in the male, not the female. The favor over a marriage is stated clearly in this passage of scripture. If a man loves a woman, she’ll know that he does because the stress and all these other things won’t be added into the equation. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” God will not send someone that is going to trip you up in your walk with Him. So if God isn’t sending him, guess who is.
References: Matthew 7:15-17, 1 John 4, Matthew 6:32-34